How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt
- How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debts
- How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt Losses
- How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt Consolidation
- How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt Owed
Individuals who have struggled with a gambling addiction are likely to be dealing with a range of financial problems, including credit card debt, debt to casinos, debt to family members and/or friends from whom they borrowed money, past-due state and federal taxes, and even debt to illegal sources such as loan sharks. Then, if gambling has put you in debt, bankruptcy may be right for you. Bankruptcy clears your debt and helps you get a fresh start. With the right attitude and lifestyle changes along with a little patience, you can come out of a bankruptcy better than you went in. And alongside counseling, you can use it to move forward with a life free from.
Gambling is a hobby that many people enjoy, whether it’s to win big on the money stakes, provide a much-needed rush of adrenaline or simply to socialise with friends. However, as glamorous as the gambling world may seem, an increasing number of players are finding themselves addicted to the game. The natural high that winning creates can be hard to shake and even harder to recreate elsewhere.
How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debts
According to the NHS, there may be as many as 450,000 people with a gambling problem in the UK – a rather astonishing statistic.
10 Key Signs of a Gambling Problem
Excessive gambling causes many problems: problems for your physical health, your emotional health, your lifestyle, your family and your friends. The following list features 10 symptoms that are typical of someone with a gambling addiction:
- Money problems – the person may make demands for cash, find themselves unable to pay bills or take out additional loans in order to fund their habit of spending more money than they can afford. The person may sell their possessions to gain extra money or may spend large sums of money without being able to tell you where it’s gone.
- Mood swings – the person may behave more erratically than usual, becoming more aggressive, angry or passionate than they have been before. They may suffer from rapid emotional highs and lows, lie to their friends and family or become quite irritable.
- Social withdrawal – the person may not be very chatty or sociable and prefer to spend their time away from their family, friends and other hobbies. They may dedicate the majority of their time to gambling and neglect all other areas of their life. They may disappear for large amounts of time without explanation.
- Increased generosity – as a result of winning large amounts of money, the person may become more generous than normal, offering to pay for your meals, buying you expensive gifts or spending money much more frivolously than they are known for.
- Weight loss – sudden weight loss may occur if the person is spending a lot of time away from home or is feeling particularly stressed about the amount of money that they are losing. They may also suffer from headaches, back pain or digestive problems as a result of the stress that gambling brings.
- Lack of motivation and concentration – pouring so much energy into one hobby is hard work, so people with a gambling problem may come across as tired, lethargic and unable to concentrate. If they are losing money, they are likely to feel unmotivated to get on with their everyday lives.
- Depression and anxiety – mental health can be affected greatly by gambling: the extreme highs and lows can cause problems with depression and anxiety as the person struggles to deal with these extreme changes in emotion.
- Insomnia – the person may find themselves unable to sleep regularly or continuously. The adrenaline rush associated with gambling can make the player feel more alert than usual and, alongside other physical or mental symptoms, this will impact on their sleeping habits.
- Criminal activity – the person may turn to drink or drugs to help cope with their gambling addiction, may begin to steal money to fund their habit or may even turn towards money laundering as a result of their compulsion to gamble more.
- Verbal and physical abuse – gambling can cause huge strains in relationships if the person is dependent on their hobby, socially withdrawn or in large amounts of debt. As a result, verbal and physical abuse may occur quite regularly if the person’s interests conflict with your own.
How to Help a Person with a Gambling Problem
Many gamblers may not be aware that they have a problem and some may be in denial about how excessive their hobby has become. As a result, facing up to their gambling being a problem can be a huge step. If you know someone with a gambling problem and want to help them move forward, use the following 10 tips as a guide for getting started:
- Talk it through – ask the person to one side and talk to them quietly and calmly about their problem. Don’t be confrontational or forceful but ask questions about their feelings and motives to get the person to admit responsibility for their addiction. Admitting to the problem is often the hardest part.
- Be supportive – show the person that you are behind them 100% and are willing to support them with letting go of their gambling problem. Be discreet, stay calm and do your best to learn about what they are experiencing so that you can be there whenever they need you. Take each day as it comes so they know that you’re not trying to rush them.
- Avoid confrontation – don’t accuse the person of having a problem; instead, let them take responsibility and admit to it. If you try to talk to the person and they become confrontational, don’t lose control of your reactions and instead take a deep breath and avoid arguing back. Choose your words carefully to evade misunderstandings.
- Don’t be quick to judge – try not to be quick to judge, condemn or draw any conclusions from the behaviour the person is exhibiting. Instead, be supportive and ask questions to show you are willing to understand and help.
- Explain how you feel – explaining to the person how their gambling affects you and how it makes you feel can often be a wake-up call which may trigger them to change to their ways, particularly if it means it will save your relationship.
- Be patient – remember to take one day at a time and don’t hurry the person to ‘get over’ their gambling addiction. You may feel as if you need to make appointments for them or go with them to therapy sessions, but let the person do things in their own time when they’re ready to make a change. Pushing the person may cause them to become more stressed and turn back to gambling as a coping strategy.
- Cognitive behavioural therapy – CBT often has the best results for those with a gambling problem. It consists of a weekly therapy session that can help the person to change the way they feel or behave around gambling. CBT trains your mind to come up with more helpful ways of thinking and can be a very effective self-help tool.
- Support groups – point the person towards a gambling support group, such as the GamCare Helpline, or ask them to consider contacting a GP, counsellor or charity who can provide them with advice and support. Sometimes talking to a stranger about a problem is easier than talking to a friend or family member.
- Keep control of money – if the person agrees, try managing their money for a short period of time until they feel in control of their spending. Alternatively, come up with an agreed weekly limit for gambling to keep their habit in check. Avoid bailing the person out with loans or covering losses as the person needs to learn to take responsibility for themselves.
Do You Work for a Company Where Gambling is Present?
If you work in a business where customers are able to gamble, whether it’s a betting shop, casino, bingo hall or lottery stand, then you have a responsibility to ensure that gambling is carried out securely, and all staff should be trained and prepared to help a customer who has a gambling problem.
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We ask Rachel Connor from debt advice charity StepChange, as part of Talk Money Week, to answer the following question. Join in the conversation on Twitter and tell us what you would advise.
Question
I’m worried about my husband and I think he may be hiding something from me. He seems to be getting more and more scary looking letters through the door, and they disappear quickly so I can’t see what they are.
When I ask him about them, he gets defensive and says they’re just junk mail. He goes out every evening pretty much, and most of the weekends too and my friend said she keeps seeing him at the local bookies.
When he’s in, he locks himself away in the spare room. He’s always been a bit of a gambler, but it's never been a problem before.
How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt Losses
We’ve never been short of money in the past, but things keep going missing. Cash has disappeared from my purse and now my gold bracelet which my mother gave to me has gone.
I’ve searched the house top to bottom for it. I just don’t think I could ask if he’s stealing from me. Has he got us into trouble with money? Will he be truthful?
I have no idea what to do.
Anon, UK
Answer
Dear Anon,
I’m really sorry to hear about the stressful situation you’ve been dealing with. From what you’ve described, there’s a chance your husband may be dealing with a gambling addiction.
How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt Consolidation
This can not only be difficult for him, but also for you, his partner. You clearly want to help him, but may be unsure how to support him in his recovery.
Gambling is a powerful addiction, so it’s important that you understand what your partner’s dealing with, and actions you can take/
According to the relationship counselling charity Relate, there are several danger signs of a gambling problem to look out for. Some of them seem to match up with what you’ve been witnessing lately. They include:
- Spending a lot of time away from the house and being vague or secretive about it. Some gamblers get up early in the morning to gamble while their partner or family are asleep.
- Becoming defensive whenever money is discussed.
- Hiding bank statements.
- Unexplained payments coming out of your bank account(s).
- Emotional highs and lows.
How To Find Out If Someone Has Gambling Debt Owed
Even though your partner is the one facing the problem, how you feel is important, too.
Talk to someone
You’ve already mentioned that a friend’s noticed your husband’s behaviour. Do you trust this friend? Can you talk to them in confidence about how you’re feeling, or do you have anyone else you can talk to?
Having someone to share your feelings with can really help your own mental wellbeing.
Your GP can refer you and your partner to local support groups that specialise in gambling recovery. You could also encourage your partner to talk in confidence with their HR department or trade union about what they’re going through.
Is there any way to help your partner avoid the temptation to gamble? According to the Gambling Commission, there are over 8,500 betting shops in the UK. As a result, your partner may have to fight an impulse to gamble every time they walk along the local high street.
Have a think about the different gambling ‘triggers’ that may arise for them. For example:
- Can they take an alternative route to the shops, or to work?
- Are they pressured into gambling by friends or colleagues (during lunch breaks, on nights out etc.)?
- Are there any apps on their phone that encourage gambling?
Get support
Finally, tell your partner to get support from a gambling awareness charity such as Gamcare. They also offer confidential support and advice for family and friends of those with gambling problems.
You can contact them online or by phone on 0808 8020 133 every day 8am to midnight.
Your partner can even talk in confidence at local meetings held by Gamblers Anonymous. Sharing their problem with others who are seeking help with gambling can make them feel less alone.
Recovering from a gambling addition could take its toll, mentally and emotionally. Seek support for your mental wellbeing from charities such as Mind and Time to Talk.
If you have a mental health assistance scheme through your employer, then please take advantage of it. By giving yourself the support you need, you’ll be in a much better position to help your partner through recovery.
If your partner’s in debt due to gambling, we recommend that they get expert gambling advice as well as free and confidential debt advice.
If they don’t seek help with their addiction, there’s a high chance they may fall back into gambling, which could make their debt problem worse.
Citizens Advice has recently joined forces with GambleAware to offer support to gamblers who are also dealing with a debt problem. At StepChange Debt Charity we also offer free and confidential debt advice over the telephone and online.
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to gambling problems, and different approaches work for different people. However, help is available and neither of you have to face the problem alone.